[This post was borrowed and shared from ‘This Best Friend I never Had’ by Ducie Nyambu]
Singleness. The gift no one wants. The season no one wants to be granted, and the place that feels like you've discovered a deeper level of alone.
This must be a mistake. He did say, “It is not good for man to be alone,” right? So, why hasn't He fixed this problem? Why does He let this error persist when there’s someone here ready and willing to solve it?
Is it possible that there’s been no mistake made? Is it possible that there’s intent behind your single status? Yes.
Instead of constantly trying to get out, maybe we should consider why we’re in. Instead of loathing maybe we should be celebrating. Instead of frantically questioning maybe we should peacefully be trusting.
What is the proper response to singleness? Here are a few thoughts.
I would argue that signing up for e Harmony or church hopping to find the one with the most available young people isn't the answer. I’m all for dating and getting yourself around other singles, but I have to believe there’s more intent behind this season than teaching you the right places to find a date.
Instead of preoccupation with finding the man or woman you want to marry, use this season to become the man or woman that God wants you to be. We’re very quick to find fault in God and others, but rarely willing to consider how we might need to grow. A humble heart will see singleness as a time to draw near to the Lord and reflect on how you need to change to become more like Him. As you follow Jesus and ask Him to transform your heart, you are going to begin to attract the right kind of man or woman.
God is in the business of protecting His children and leading us into the place of greatest joy. This means He knows what you need and when you need it. There is intent, purpose, and a reason behind this period in your life.
Maybe there’s sin that needs to be dealt with and He’s preventing you from inviting someone else into your mess. Two sinners don’t fix each other’s problems. God uses marriage and relationships for our sanctification, but He also uses singleness to spare us pain, consequence and to keep us from pulling others down. This is cause for gratitude and gratefulness, not anger and bitterness. He’s protecting all His children because He loves them.
God may need you to serve in such a way right now, where all your energy, time and attention need to be devoted to what He’s calling you into. One of my high school youth leaders didn't get married until he was 32. While he was single he gave countless hours serving our youth group for eight years. Many of the leaders that I do college ministry with today we’re impacted by his dedication that would not have been possible if he were married and starting a family. God allows singleness because this life is not about you but about His Kingdom and His purposes being accomplished. This is cause for thankfulness and joy, that our Father would invite us into His work and want us to be a part of what He’s doing.
Perhaps God just wants you to wait patiently and trust Him.
Many of us say we want Jesus to be King, but if we’re honest, it’s only true as long as he runs things the way we would do it. The second he veers from our plan we fight to take the reins back.
God knows more than you do. His plan is perfect, His timing without flaw. The ultimate question is do you desire God’s will over your own? Will you trust Him? This season might be the time to slow down, stop resisting and be thankful that God is making you into the man or the woman that He needs you to be for His purposes and for His glory.
Here are some questions to ask yourself in seasons of singleness?
1) Am I looking to get out before looking to understand why God might have me here and what he wants me to learn?
2) Are all my thoughts toward singleness bitter and resentful? What are the blessings and opportunities I am afforded during this season?
3) Do I truly believe that I have worth and value as an individual created in the image of God?
4) Am I using my extra time to contribute to the Kingdom or to question God and complain?
5) Am I banking on a relationship to fix the sin issues in my life, or am I desiring the Holy Spirit to help sanctify me now?
Yes,i am single,but for a reason.